00. Who are the Limerati?

This is a place where I want to share my experience of limerence, its impact on me, my friendships and my most intimate relationships. For now, it must remain anonymous. Decisions have not been reached. I aim to share an experience not to shame anyone or cause pain. There’s enough of that to go around for those of us in a limerent or even partial state – as I believe I was for a period of time.

It is also somewhere my Messages to Nowhere can find a home. The need to communicate with the Limerent Object (LO) was high. But it often serves no purpose. My LO would reply to my eloquent messages with one line. She would not engage. So why bother? But I felt compelled to write them. I spoke to an old teacher who asked me: Where is Nowhere? It felt like they needed to be Somewhere and here is that place.

My LO will never receive them and doubtful ever see this blog. That’s OK. I just need to release them into the air where maybe they can be cleansed of their pain. They are intensely personal. I hope they help anybody who finds themselves in limerence.

Unrequited love is hard. You must move on. Limerence is a kind of mental illness. It induces madness. You want to stop living because you cannot find a way out of the well of feelings you have. If only you could be with your LO, everything will be OK.

Of course, it won’t. The fantasy is just that. It can never save you. Only you can do that and maybe I can help. It’s not easy but it is healthy, adult and leads to a life lived with intent.

So, this is for you, my fellow ‘limerati’.

London, April 2024